20 Predictions for 2016 (And How You Too Can Become a Psychic Fortune-Teller Type – But Not Really)


This is the link to last year's predictions.

I've cast the bones for 2016, and the ancestors have spoken.

And here's how you too can learn to tell the future. (Spoiler alert: You can't really, all you do is look at what has already happened, what's happening now, and what always seems to happen. And, of course, you need to keep it vague.)


  1. There will be a new conflict between nations in the Middle East.
  2. The global climate crisis will reach epidemic proportions.
  3. A major Asian economy will approach near collapse.
  4. A major leader will be deposed.
  5. A large weather system will cause immense damage.
  6. A new disease will threaten the globe.
  7. Scientists will make a major new discovery.
  8. A new earth-like planet will be found.
  9. I see major racial conflict in a Western country.
  10. A new disruptive technology will fundamentally change the way we do things.
  11. There is an unexpected new president.
  12. A major victory for human rights / environmental lobbyists will occur.
  13. A sports scandal looms.
  14. A mass shooting.
  15. (Insert example of ignorance / stupidity).
  16. London.
  17. Africa.
  18. Some things will get a little bit better.
  19. Some things will get a little bit worse.
  20. Millions will experience bad luck after not favoriting that Facebook post.


And before you protest that I am being flippant about some potentially serious and tragic events, might I remind you that most of these things are already happening right now? And they've been happening for many years. Perhaps the real tragedy is that we aren't doing anything about them. And that we're still surprised when they happen. And that we have the kind of credulity that allows us to think that people can tell the future.



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